Healthy Eating: A Failed Journalist goes Lifestyle Mag!

Wednesday 9 January, 2019

Remember my financial crisis, which led to tokens for free or dirt cheap food at fast food resuatarants, which made me put on weight? Well, I was trying to lose the weight I’d gained, which is very hard when you can’t really move without pain, and energy levels are almost all low, and all energy is needed to fight off the flu and get right back into the uni saddle to write a 1000 essay… holy run on sentence batman!

I don’t normally go for the whole new years resolution thing, or diets. Health issues notwithstanding, I find a lot of people make dieting too much about goal weight orientated instead of healthy living, and they want the weight off now now now. I can’t stand when food is considered “bad” or a person considered “naughty” for eating said “bad food”.

However….

However…

All of my hard work put in after the financial crisis:- cutting down on sugar. cutting down on big fast food meals when out on social calls, trying out chair exercises just to increase movement a bit – it was all undone by 10 days worth of family christmas meals and biscuits and chocolates. I don’t know how much I weigh, because it’s not like argos sells wheelchair accessible scales, but I was almost close to fitting into my favourite pair of jeans and now I’m not, again. So I think it’s safe to say, I’m back to square one.

I don’t know what I’m doing with blogging this. I’m not about to go all Take A Break on everyone and start talking slimfast shakes, but I feel like I’ll struggle to acknowledge my effort if I don’t blog about it here.

The problem I think I have, in comparison to other people I know on a New Year’s Resolution diet, which isn’t what I’m doing exactly but is close enough it might as well be; is that they’ve got something to start from. They either plan to cut out alchohol or ready meals or sweets, but my problem is I don’t drink any alcohol, I do need to depend on ready meals a lot because otherwise I wouldn’t eat any hot food on days my parents can’t make my food for me, and although I go through phases of eating sweets, sugar is hard to cut down on when you’re literally a CFS zombie without a kick of sugar half way through the day.

But, I start as I mean to go on. I have a lunch box for when I’m out of the house, an ice pack, and a love of fresh salad. I’ll be using a calory counter as I have been using for the past few months, and I guess I’ll figure out the exercise problem along the way, somehow.

I’ll now return you to your normal AFJ wordpress blogging.

-AFJ

 

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How I Survived My Very Own Financial Crisis

Wednesday 16 May, 2018

Hello there. It’s been a while since I updated about something personal (Who am I trying to kid? Almost everything I write about is layered in personal) but lately I went through something and I feel like sharing about it.

It was just a spate of bad luck that all happened at once. My whole family was sick at the same time as daily living expenses went up, plus I had appointments I had to travel for, and then my beloved pet got sick so I ended up with vet bills, and paying for the taxis that got me and my beloved pet back and forth to the vets. We had, as the old advert went, “More money going out than what [we had] coming in”. It was stressful and it’s only now that things are beginning to level out.

So, how did we survive? Well we couldn’t do anything to bring more income in at that point. For the family members that work, days off sick on 0 hour contracts are days you’ll never get back unless the boss will give you more hours (they didn’t), and it’s not like you can get more ESA just because your heating bill has gone up whilst you’ve been sick over the winter. Personally, I scrimped and saved and became a bit of a Scrooge. I’m ashamed to admit that I noticed i was over charged 70p on a money saving multi-buy item because of a glitch and contacted Morrisons about it to get that 70p back. Even now the vice-like grip of impending destitution (Hi I’m A failed Journalist and I like Hyperbole) has eased, I’m still being as cheap as possible until I really feel like the danger has passed.

First was that any and all points on any loyalty cards were used. I’d saved up quite a few Morrisons points over the last year and a bit, enough to get a lot off the Christmas shopping and still had some money left over to build up on from the new year, not to mention some £10 vouchers for the delivery being late. So £10 a week off the weekly shop helped a lot. Same went for Sainsbury’s. I hardly ever shop in Sainsbury’s, but I have done my fair share of ebay purchases over the last 10 years, and points have built up which I’d never had opportunity or need to use before. Whilst family members who normally care for me were sick with the same flu I’d had, those points went a good way to helping me buy microwavable meals. Boots was another that I had accrued over 10+ years, and £13 covered a nice little Boots spree that’ll keep me going for a few months.

One of my Morale treats is Subway. I originally got addicted to Subway, and yes, addiction is accurate – back before I went to Uni the first time. I loved the smell of the place, I loved the way the bread toasted and the cheese melted, and the way the tang of the gerkin mixed with the sweetness of the BBQ sauce. There was nothing quite like Subway. Unfortunately their ableism became too much for me to handle so I stopped going there, until the last couple of years where the one by where we moved started begging me to go in. And even better, these days Subway has ramps! Not always suitable seating, but ramps, and a disabled toilet! And the staff don’t talk to me through the mostly soundproof glass! Well, these days my food allergies and intolerances have changed my diet a bit, but a nice chicken salad does me no harm. And even better, once you get enough points, you get a free sub! I had enough for one and was well on my way to a second when my Financial Crisis Hit. I got the free sub for a free lunch, and kind companions without their own cards or apps have been happy for me to have their points so I could get a second within a month.

The second method was vouchers. And I hope you note the problem is with all this discounted food. I have the Burger King app. At full whack, you can pay £5+ for a meal at Burger King, with the app vouchers it allowed the same meal cost £2.99. And then McDonalds brought out it’s Millionnaire Winners tokens. With my Unidays app I got a meal, with the token I got from that that I got a McChicken Wrap and Fries, with the Fries I got a cup of tea. I’ve been given unwanted tokens from Carers and Friends. I had five meals for free or under £2 thanks to those tokens

The problem is, I hope you’re starting to notice, is that most of this quick, easy, discounted and free food is all fast food and convenience food. But nobody is thrusting a free lettuce into my face that isn’t on a burger, and nobody is offering me a half price home made roast dinner, and I can’t look a gift horse in the mouth (I’ve heard it’s nice in lasagne).

I save on bus fair by wheeling where I can, when my carer’s can manage the walk. I’m sure if I could walk places or even self propel, I’d be burning off all the calories I’m getting from the fast food but alas, I’m fully electric. If Jeremy Corbyn fancies extending his free public transport idea to under 45s, I’d really welcome that, too! Carers don’t travel for free, you know!

I wouldn’t like to imply that there was even a good thing about this, because I’d go through bankruptcy if it meant he’d have had something treatable that I could have bought medication for. But it does mean no more emergency transport to the vet, and the electric bill  go down as

So that’s foods, toiletries and transport. What about hobbies and other daily stuff? Well, luckily for everyone, I already had enough hobby fodder in from bulk buying on sale two years ago. So that’s keeping me going. I’m on the cheapest phone tariff I can find. I’m using a free student trial of Amazon Video to keep up with film watching and I told NowTV I could no longer afford their services, so they kindly offered me the movie pass for half the price I was paying. That has now run out but it was nice whilst it lasted. I didn’t have any other subscription services other than Cinema Paradiso, which I cancelled back in February.

On a bizarre twist, I went further out of my area with my travel pass for a cheaper trip to the cinema. The disabled travel pass meant my train journey was free, the cinema is a short walk from the station, and the ticket itself was £5.75 with a free carer ticket, and I don’t bother with concessions on a normal day, so I definitely didn’t bother on my “keep the price as low as possible” kick. With my local cinema it’s almost £20 there and back in a taxi, and between £8 – £11 for a ticket. The only downside was that the wheelchair seat was way too close to the front so I won’t be repeating that money saving venture again!

I might have come across as a neurotic scrimping fiend the past few months, but all I can say to those that helped me and gave me their freebies, is that i’m grateful. Indulge me in my hyperbole here, but helping me keep things as cheap as possible kept the stress and the tears at bay. And, I’m relieved to say that the clouds do seem to be parting. Working members of the family have been back in work and back to normal for a few weeks now, prescription costs are back down to a more affordable level, and the weather is improving so some of the household bills are down. But the books balancing doesn’t mean the money’s stacking up, it just means for now, the waves are settling. There will always be water, and rain clouds can gather again to flood us out of house and home, and there’s not much I can do to build up a defence against it other than what I did this time; And next time, if I’m knocked off kilter again soon, I won’t have anywhere near as much of the safety net I’d incidentally created for myself.

Sorry, unsually for me, that’s all I’ve got. It’s hard to end this on a positive note.


12 Year Memorium

Monday 16 October, 2017

You and I have memories
Longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

1985 – 2005


Please don’t take our straws away

Friday 1 September, 2017

Hello, yes it is I, AFJ.

Funny story, I did plan to write film reviews, but here’s what happened shortly after my last entry. My laptop died a terrible terrible death, so not only was I without a desk with which to put my laptop on so that I could type up entries with ease, I was without the whole kit and kaboodle to type on.

It has been hell. But here I am, on a borrowed keyboard set up, and I want to talk about something which is kicking up a fuss on the internet that has me concerned.

As you may know if you read here regularly, I am all for saving the planet and cutting down on waste. I think frivolous purchases don’t do anyone any good and I think the throwaway culture we have is destroying the planet. I still have a fountain pen that lasted me 11 years, through my GCSEs, my A Levels, many hand written stories, uni the first year and a bit of uni on the second attempt, in my drawer in the hopes one day I can get it repaired. I find it disgraceful that we’re encouraged to just throw away things which at one point could have been repaired and buy new. So I really don’t say this lightly.

Do not take plastic, disposable straws away from shop shelves. I’m not asking, I am telling whoever is in charge of this world-wide campaign against straws: Do not take them away, it will have an inproporitonate negative affect on those of us who need them:- The Disabled Community.

Over the last year or two, things which have been, or could have been useful to disabed people have been mocked and revered by the able bodied eco-friendly campaigners. Explanations for how certain things make all the difference to disabled people is met with condescention and virtual shrugged shoulders. I am, of course, talking about the night everyone on twitter was up in arms about pre-sliced oranges in plastic containers, and pre-peeled avocados in similar packaging. And the latest item to be villified are straws.

I first became aware of this campaign when I saw this article on the BBC Website, which is worded slightly differently now than it was when I first read it. What has become a third-party re-write was originally an opinion piece by waste management spokesperson, Mark Hall, about how awful straws are and how anyone over the age of 12 using a straw were failing at being an adult, with the title of the article being the provocative statement “Only kids need straws with their fizzy pop”. An able-ist statement if I ever saw one. The article went on to suggest alternatives that should be used, and agian, only for children.

What these campaigners such as Mark Hall are failing to acknowledge is that many people depend on straws, and the alternatives are just simply not as good as what we currently have right now. I say this as somoene who only depends on them infrequently, but when my back and neck sieizes up I’m not able to lift a cup to my mouth and drink from it, and I certainly can’t tip my neck back to finish off a well earned cup of tea. Many of my friends are in the same boat, all of the time. The only way they can drink and stay hydrated, without having to have an invasive operation or depend on saline solutions delivered by a drip system, is by using straws.

I have read on twitter that wax paper alternatives don’t last as long as their plastic counterparts, they can be warped by heat. Are disabled people meant to just stick to cold drinks? I have also read reviews about metal ones, some people have found they’re not able to clean them properly, even if they have a washing machine. Usually there’s a public outcry if a children’s drinking cup or bottle catches drink remnants and goes mouldy, but claims on straws are met again with shrugs. As if those who use straws should just expect to ingest mould every now and then as a punishment for using something deemed childish and unneccessary by some. It’s not just a worry about the types of drinks that could catch in the straw, many medications come in liquid form which also need to be drunk and i don’t think mixing them would be a good idea either.

I’m aware my opinions come from people who might not know what they’re talking about, but I think I’d rather take my chances with people on twitter who have no stake in their claims, over businessmen who do and haven’t thought about the implications of their opinions and attitudes. And it’s one thing to have to scroll through the fire and fury people on facebook direct at novelty straws and multi-packs alike, it’s a whole other to go in to shops looking for straws and being told they don’t have any due to request of the public, which is starting to happen.

Campaigners might be patting themselves on the back, but disabled people are worried about being left thirsty or having to resort to drastic measures just so that they don’t dehydrate.

 


Impending Exam: I am worried

Tuesday 2 May, 2017

This is a personal blog, which I haven’t written in a while.

I have an exam in a month’s time and I am very worried about it. I do not have the best track record with exams. I struggled to revise for my GCSEs, when I tried I did not take anything in, and when I didn’t try my mind was filled with everything but important information. When it wasn’t instinct to me, I did badly. When it involved maths, I did very badly.

My A levels, it didn’t matter how hard I tried, how many different ways I tried to revise – group revision, flash cards, write and recall, I went in to those exams knowing I knew this stuff in the back of my mind but couldn’t get my answers into order, and subsequently came out with a Two Ds and an E.

I swore off taking another exam again after that. I am no good at them and in my mind, I’ve recognised a limitation and done my best to stay within it. I don’t know what it is about them, or about my brain, but we have never worked well together and my results almost always reflected badly on my capabilities.  And now I have more health problems than I did back then, so I have more to battle against, in exam conditions. Which I will be sitting on very little sleep because I know for a fact I’ll be kept awake all night thinking through what questions I might face and going over how I might answer them, and all the things that might go wrong.

So when I say I am worried about this exam coming up, I’m not saying it lightly. This isn’t a plea for complements about my level of intelligence or knowledge on certain topics. I don’t want to hear “it’ll be fine” or that I “can do it”. I don’t necessarily want to be told it won’t be fine or I can’t do it, but I want acknowledgement that it might not be fine, because when it comes to exams, it just never is. I don’t want people to act as if I have nothing to worry about and that I’m being silly. I don’t care if this is a new me and a new course, and that my last experience with exams was years ago. If anything, that’s more reason for me to worry. My last exams were years ago, I was in the settings of exam preperation for the last few months of of 6th form and I don’t have that now, here, on my distance learning course as an adult and I can’t replicate it.

And if I don’t pass this exam, it’ll be two years worth of work on the line and I will have to take a resit in September, and if I fail the resit, the last two years will have gone to waste. Because whilst you can retake the year, I sure as hell am not repeating this module just to meet another exam at the end of it, and I’m no way dealing with the SFE for any longer than I have to.

You might be thinking, “AFJ, you’re putting the horse before the cart” and that might be so, but it’s hard not to when I’ll be sitting the first exam I’ll have sat in years and my health is nothing like it was back then, and I can’t see me passing this exam in those circumstances. I have memory problems from being tired all the time. I have always been bad with numbers, now I’m worse. I forget words in the middle of sentences. Because of me being tired, I don’t deal well with early mornings anymore outsde of insomnia bouts, and I flag again by either mid-morning or early afternoon. Just the travelling to the exam centre is going to have a toll on me.

I can construct a hell of an essay with the information I have learnt to hand, to read and double check details, and when it’s a good question to answer, I can do it quickly. But this will be an exam, I won’t be able to edit as I go along to re-structure my essay, I won’t have any resources to hand to refresh my memory and just the stress of having an hourly deadline will the situation harder for my body to deal with. I will have to dictate my answers to an ~emmanuensis~ which I haven’t needed to do since before my GCSEs (Or possibly during, I can’t remember if I had any scribes during my GCSEs but I remember my hand writing going very downhill during my geography exam) so that’s an extra element. And I know for a fact that even if I last the exam and I give decent enough answers, I will have to face the fall out my body will feel due to putting myself through that.

There is nothing good about this up and coming exam and I can’t emphasise this enough about how worried I am about it. I might know my stuff because I’ll have learnt it, but I might not be able to recall it on demand. I know for a fact that anything interesting I tell people, I sound like a fool who doesn’t know anything because my brain “vagues out” on specifics like dates and names of people.

And now for the biggest source of my frustation:

The Open University is meant to be the ~maverick~ university for those who, for whatever reason, can not or would prefer not to attend a regular “brick University”. It was meant to be open for everyone, no matter their personal circumstances. But in the last few years, they have been bringing themselves in line with other “mainstream” universities, it also means switching the EMAs to Exams. (Not to mention the expense, no more Educating Rita at the Open University!)

I have believed since I was 16 and sitting my GCSEs that all exams are, are memory tests. And they’re not even accurate memory tests, because evidence shows that stress affects memory and ability to convey information as accurately as we have learnt it, and exams are that stressful hardly anyone is able to do as well they would be able to in, for example, a relaxed conversation about the topic. So I really think switching EMAs to Exams really pull the rug out from under disabled students in a variety of ways, but especially for those of us who are unable to sit for long periods of time and have memory problems, whether nuerological or tiredness-induced. An EMA, which allows for well constructed arguments to be made when the student is at their best and a deadline of two to three weeks, I think is far superior to testing to see whether a student has grasped the concept, but hey, what do I know? I’m just a student.

If you have any practical advice, please feel free to suggest it.
If you have platitudes, you might mean well but I don’t want them.

 


Snap General Election

Tuesday 18 April, 2017

May has announced a Snap General Election to be held in June:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-39629603

Please, if for some bizarre reason any of you voted conservative, maybe family loyalty, maybe as a one issue voter, do not vote for them again. They have killed so many people with their policies, to vote for them Yet again after what we know from the Coalition would be saying to me “Yeah I don’t care if you suffer and die”.

At this point, I don’t care if you didn’t realise it would be this bad last time now, despite everyone who would be affected screaming their lungs out trying to inform you all, but if you see all of this chaos around you and think it’s what we need more of, then you are part of the problem.

Think of the future, don’t vote conservative. Preferably, vote Labour. I know, I know, they’re not perfect but they’re the only ones outside of Scotland who care even a tiny amount of the issues real people have. Under Jeremy Corbyn, they are the only ones who have fought for disabled people and carers. They have been infiltrated by Blairites and they have caused the problem, but look at the fundamental issues of the real labour members. They aren’t perfect, but they’re our best bet to get perfect.

The last election, out of the people who voted, Conservatives got in with about a third of the turn out. The rest was made up of people splitting themselves between the rest of the parties. If you add up all the left wing parties who were voted for, you get just under 60% of the vote, but because that is not how the system worked, Conservative got a single biggest chunk of the pie, so they got in.

Don’t let the break down of the voting pie go the same way. Labour have historically given more to the majority of the people, see the social security and the NHS as evidence.


6 Years And Counting

Tuesday 22 November, 2016

I know it’s not much of a celebration. Frequency of posting is way down in comparison to last year, and for the last two years, this here blog has been more inactive than active.

But, I am still here! And this is 6th year of being here. So for that alone I am happy, and I hope you are too.

Watch this space, we’ll make it to the 10th year together, and with any luck, we’ll also ring in 100 entries in that time too.

-AFJ-